GOOD FRIDAY GRATITUDE 03.29.13

Today is Good Friday, the day that Christians celebrate the sacrifical death of Christ on the cross for the sins of the world. It's also the day of the week that I pause to look back over the week that was and reflect on the many things in my life for which I am grateful.

There are so many things going on in my life right now. Certainly this week has been an incredibly busy week for me, having to be at church so much for services and rehearsals related to Holy Week. However, while it is tiring, I have to say that the one thing in my life for which I am most incredibly grateful is the gifts and talents with which I have been blessed musically. While sometimes it is easy to take for granted my abilities, I know that it's all a work in progress. Even though I've played for over 23 years, I still continue to learn, grow and hone my skills. I cannot imagine my life without the gift ot music. Playing the piano is my biggest passion, even when I don't want to take the time or feel like practicing.

This week I'm also grateful for the simple acts of support which have been displayed this week in regards to the Supreme Court of the United States hearing arguents in the same-sex marriage battle. it continues to be a hot-button issue of our modern day. I think people are starting to get a clue. I think they are starting to see that two people of the same gender wanting to make a commitment to one another is a necessary and important right It's been surprising to see people one may never think of as that liberally and open-minded changing their profile photos on facebook to some representation or interpretation of the red background with an equality symbol on it. I am grateful for each and ever one who has supported this cause. While at the time I am not in the market to be getting married..it does bring me hope knowing that one day in the not too distant fututre there will be no reason to even give any thought to the issue, other than love, fairness and, indeed, equality. Playing the "what if" or any of a myriad of "religious" arguments just don't hold water. Love, and only love, is the answer.

Here is my confession: I am grateful for the blessings in my life over the last few weeks. I see things moving in my life in very positive ways. I am filled with hope. Every day is a new journey, every day is a new experience. I seek to be positive and hopeful in each day. It's not always an easy task. However, I am grateful that I have friends both far and near who are championing me in every endeavor. I've not yet arrived where I truly want to be, but, baby, I'm on my way. Having a grateful heart and attitude are essential companions on the journey. May my heart be filled with gratitude each and every day, because no matter how shitty a day may be, there is ALWAYS something in the day that is worthy of gratitude, even if it is as simple was waking up in the mornng.

GRATITUDE 03.16.13

My weekly gratitude blog is one of my favorite parts of this blog. It's because I truly believe that a life lived in gratitude is a happy life. Granted, living a life of gratitude isn't going to make you the happiest person in the room, but it's certainly going to give you something to reflect upon when you are in the midst of your most difficult situations.

Last week, I saw a quote that read "Every night before you go to bed write down three things good that happened to you that day. That's pretty much all it takes to get a happiness boost over time."-- Eric Barker

Tonight, as I review the week that was, I am grateful for several things in my life. i have to admit that I've been writting my three good things that have happened in my ife each day before I retire to bed for the evening. It has helped me realize that even if I have to think of something good, that good things happen every single day.

Among those things this week for which I am most thankful, I am thankful for the opportunity to we had the opportunity to witness in real-time the announcement of Habemus Papam! ("We Have a Pope!"), as it was announced that Pope Francis will be the new Pontiff. I'm grateful for opportunities that have come in my direction personally. I'm grateful for a group of people who love me in spite of myself. I'm grateful for love, mercy and peace.

Here's my confession: This has been one of the best weeks I have had in a long time. Certainly, there were struggles, difficulties and fears, but on the whole, this week has been good. I am hopeful for more weeks like this. I guess when we struggle, either with other people's being aware or whether we do it privately, there comes a point where things even out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe that. And, today, I am most grateful for a sense of peace in my life that has been missing for a good long while. I pray that I remain on the right path.

WHY BE CATHOLIC?

There has been much discussion about Catholicism in recent days-rightly so with the conclave and Papal election yesterday which resulted in the election of Pope Francis I.

The Pope is certainly one of the most recognizable figures in the world, transcending race, creed or geography. Even still, there is a shroud of mystery surrounding the office of the pope, and how he and the Catholic Church believe. I'm a Catholic among a sea of protestants. Now, if you are reading this a protestant and haven't ever set foot in a Catholic Church and are only going off what you've seen on television and what you've been "told". I'd like to introduce you to the church--which is, in general, not anything like you see on EWTN or various other outlets. Guess what--we even sing modern "Praise Hymns", you better bet it. It's true!

I converted to Catholicism 13 years ago, coming out of different Protestant traditions, primarily those of the Southern Baptist and United Methodist Churches. So, do I believe everything the Holy Roman Catholic church teaches and believes? In short, No. Why be Catholic, then? Because, when I was on that journey to find a spiritual home, the Catholic Church was the best fit for me. I love the beauty of the liturgy, and the thing that truly drew me to the Catholic Church is that unlike the Protestant churches of which I've been a part, the Catholic Church seems to preach God's message of love and mercy. I've heard hundreds of homilies (sermons) over the years and can only think of maybe one or two that have been about anything other than love. They aren't resounding hell and damnation diatribes against human sexuality, abortion or any of a litany of sins. By and large, the message of the homilies is of mercy, love, forgiveness. That is what drew me in to the Catholic Church. That is, as I understand it, the message of God.

Here's my confession: I am an American Catholic. That means, in essence, that I'm a "cafeteria catholic." I pick and choose the doctrines I believe. I don't believe that Catholicism has cornered the market on morality, Christianity or ethics. Yet, I don't believe than any religious or philosophical sect has cornered the market, either. Spirituality is important to me. I find comfort in Christianity, but I also find comfort in the teaching of other traditions. I see wisdom in the teachings of the Buddha. There are extremists in Catholicism as there are in any tradition. There are some that follow what they have been taught all their life and never step out to examine their faith to develop their "own" faith, and instead live the faith of their parents, grandparents, etc, blindly following because they have been taught that is the way and they should not question it. There are also those who examine their faith to whatever degree they are comfortable, and pick and choose what they choose to belive, or what doctorines or dogmas are important to you.

For those who are looking for a pontiff who is going to be socially liberal, I am here to tell you, we aren't there yet. As long as the college of cardinals is controlled by a group of men ranging in age from their early 50s to 80, it is unrealistic to expect that the Shephard of the Flock will be anything less than dogmatic and conservative. I hope to see the day when a man of my generation rises to the college of cardinals and is elected to the papacy. I firmly believe today's hot-button issues such as homosexuality, same-sex marriage and birth control will in time become the norm and therefore accepted. The Church is often slow to adapt. But, I keep the faith that the church will right the wrongs of the past. The church's stance, for example, on homosexuality is that a homosexual person is to be valued in God's kingdom. While still far from perfect, it's a damn far cry better than other traditions who just outright ban the gays to death and tear down those who so desperately want to understand and live their faith. The church, if she is to survive, needs to wake up and embrace the people in pain. I've always thought of the church as refuge for liberated, not a place to oppress the liberated. After all, if we are looking at Jesus, he wasn't hanging out with the holy men and women. He was hanging out with the outcasts of society. Wanna tell me that Jesus wouldn't be hanging out with his gay friends on Saturday night? You aren't going to convince me. Until the day (and I hope I'm around to see it happen) when the church truly welcomes ALL the saints and sinners, I'll be in the Catholic Church, and possibly in the episocpal church. The bottom line is that God is love, nothing else really matters. If I've damned myself to hell, hopefully I'll get it figured out before it is too late, but I firmly believe that if we are following God to the best of our ability, in our own conscience, that you're ok. the truth is, none of us will know until the end. I'm going to err on the side of God's mercy, love and compsssion, for I don't believe that God will punish us for trying.

I THINK…

Where does the time go? It has been a month and a half since my last posting. I had planned to do so much better. I had planned to write about my Lenten journey, my life, my dreams, my hopes, and none of that has happened. Tonight, I pause just to dust off the blog and share a few thoughts.

Where to start? What to write? I'm truly writing from the top of my head and from my fingertips tonight. There's no rhyme or reason as to what I'm going to write, no formula. It's just random, stream of consciousness writing. I'm sitting down, typing, and what comes out, comes out.

I spend a lot of my time thinking. I think of my life, my accomplishments, my failures, the things I would like to accomplish. I think of finances, of goals. I think of fears. I think of the yesterdays that have passed over which I have no control and the tomorrows over which I have some control. I think of the motivational quotes I often post for my friends and, indeed, myself, on facebook. I think of relationships--I think of stupid pride and forgiveness denied. I think of fear and resentment, two poisions which will, no dobut, wear down a soul.

Most of my really amazing, awesome "I SHOULD TOTALLY BLOG ABOUT THAT" topics come to me at the most inopportune times, you know, like when I'm driving down the interestate, at the gym, or in the shower. You know, those times when your thoughts are lucid and vivid and, alas, you have no opportunty to sit down and record those thoughts. That seems to be a struggle, a battle of sorts.

I think of the accomplishments for which I am most proud. I'm proud of the amount of time and effort that I've been putting into my piano practice. Some days i am fortuanate enough to be able to sit down and "sight read" pieces of music for an hour, two hours or more, yet others where I'm too tired to even bother touching the piano. Yet, I can tell that my practice has been paying off. My forcing myself to go to the gym is getting better, as well, and while most people perceive me to be "skinny" or "thin as a rail", I do sometimes struggle with my body image because it's not as toned as I would prefer.

I think of, well, practially everything under the sun. And what am I doing about it?

Here's my Confesion: I think I need to learn the art of patience, of letting go and of being content. Sometimes I cause myself needless stress by just hanging on to baggage I need to send to the wind. Anxiety, stress and fear are constant companions, but why? If I'm honest, I pretty much already have everything I need. Life isn't easy. I think what I long for most in this life is peace. I suppose my deeply pensive nature is just a part of who I am. Hopefully, I will be able to capture more of those pensive thoughts and turn them in to blog postings. Jesus said "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."-John 14:27. I would do well to remember that.