Where in the world does the time go? I had such great intentions of writing more in this blog, but by the end of the day, I find my energy is just zapped. One of the things I love most about my blog is the platform it provides me to express, examine and excogitate my feelings of gratitude. Even the shittiest of days has some redeeming quality, if we dare to look deep enough. There is, somewhere in the muck of the mundane of life, a glimmer of light, something, someone, for which to be grateful.
As I look back over the month that all too quickly came to pass, I quickly realize that I have many reasons to be grateful. Some of the reasons are obvious-life, health, shelter. Still others may be a little less transaparent. I'm grateful for my friendships, talents and dreams. I'm always careful to not sound trite or cliche with my words of gratitude, for it is all too easy to allow the words to lose their meaning and the gratitude itself loses its authenticity.
In January, one of the things for which I am most grateful is a visit I had a couple of weeks ago with my friends from college, Lee and Jane. Were it not for Lee, I don't know where I would be today. He got me through so many things in my life. He was there through my difficult journey out of the closet, he was there as I struggled with Music Theory, he allowed me the opportunity to accompany him on the piano a few times, and was a shoulder to cry on far more often than either of us cares to remember. Most of all, he was one of the first people I met who ever gave me unconditional love and friendship, a love and friendship which have stood the test of time over the last 18 years. Lee, Jane and I make an effort to meet annually in Nashville, TN, which is a good "half-way" meeting point for us. It's a tradition we've continued over the last decade. I think that weather may have caused a delay once or twice, but for the most part, I don't recall a time when we didn't get together to reminisce, play a game of UNO and share a meal or two. This year was no exception. I'm grateful for these two people who mean so very much to me. I'm grateful for their relationship, marriage and children, my "neices and nephew" who are growing up way too fast.
I've also spent quite a bit of time at my piano keyboard this month. I've refined my skills on Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" and have worked on a couple of other pieces. I'm so grateful for my skills at the piano. I've noticed my sight-reading skills are improving, too.
I'm grateful for simple things in my life, like unexpected text messages, for people, for encouragement. I'm grateful to have a loving support system in my life. So many aren't as blessed.
Here's my confession: January, on the whole to me was a very blasé month for me. Emotionally, I had some difficult moments. Physically, I failed myslef by not pushng myself to go to the gym. However, I am grateful for the moments that I did have, the laughter I did experience and the people who made it possible. As I end this blog tonight, I do so on the fifth anniversary of my break-up from Parker. We spent five years together and now I've spent most of the last five years single. I don't think I would change a single thing. The time with Parker taught me a lot of things about myself, and the time after Parker has helped mold me into the person I am today--which I hope, to a large extent, is a positive, grateful person. January, thank you for your presence, for the memories and for the blessing of rain and the beauty of snow. Now, I prepare for February, a month of promise, a clean slate waiting to be written.
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