I'M SORRY…

I'm sorry

I'm sorry that the church told you you were no good because you are black, because you're gay, because you're a woman, because you're disabled, because you are divorced, I'm sorry…because…. I'm sorry that someone's opinion of God was allowed to take away your view of God.  I'm sorry that you were told it has to be in the Bible for it to be true. I'm sorry that someone took a scripture out of context and used against you.  I'm sorry that the mighty leaders have fallen, thus tainting your view of the church. I'm sorry for the sins of a few which have clouded your view of the entire world.  I'm sorry for those who feel the need to live their faith loudly with clanging cymbals and trumpet blasts.  I'm sorry that they can't see that showing love quietly is the greatest sermon and, consequently, the loudest. I'm sorry because you didn't believe like the group, your opinion was invalidated.  I'm sorry that you were indoctrinated to believe that if you don't believe the way your grandmother believed, then your belief is wrong.  I'm sorry you weren't allowed to evolve in your own personal faith.  

I'm sorry that the church sends mixed messages.  I'm sorry if the church is no better than a country club or social club.  I'm sorry faith and politics are intertwined.   I'm sorry you were made to feel you need to conform when you should really stand out.  I'm sorry for the pain. I'm sorry for the wars-in the world and in yourself.  

I'm sorry for the lies.  I'm sorry for the "rules".  I'm sorry that your talents weren't utilized.   I'm sorry that you can't find God anymore because you've been told God has abandoned you.   I'm sorry for all the hatred allegedly done in the name of God.  I'm sorry God has been assigned a gender by mankind.  I'm sorry that a story thousands of years old is taken literally today and you are looked down upon if you don't follow.  I'm sorry you were told that following God would make everything perfect and would erase your pain.   I'm sorry you feel alone.  I'm sorry you're marginalized.  I'm sorry that you were forced to attend church as a child and that you resent it so much that you walked away.   I'm sorry that Jesus looks so beautiful on the crucifix.  I'm sorry he's white.   I'm sorry the message you hear on Sunday and what you see on Tuesday don't match.   I'm sorry that everything has to be so absolute.   I'm sorry you were told it is.   I'm sorry, because often it isn't.   I'm sorry that you aren't allowed to accept the teachings of other faith traditions.  I'm sorry for public prayers that are only pious rumblings.  I'm sorry for the prayer requests that just turn into a gossip session.   I'm sorry for judgement.  I'm sorry.

Here's my confession:  I encounter people every single day who would seek to shake my faith with their negativity, piety, and hypocrisy.  I believe that behind every stained glass window, underneath every steeple, and on each street is someone in pain, and nobody really seems to care.  It's every one for their self.  I believe God is present in every single moment. My faith isn't your faith.  That's why it is personal.   I know this rambling will probably shatter some people's view of me. Hey, I believe in Jesus, but I find wisdom and comfort in the teachings of Buddha, Muhammad, Plato, and even modern-day prophets.   I don't believe the Bible as we have it has a closing page.  I prefer the term spiritual to religious.  I believe in God.  And I believe that God loves every creature, and really doesn't need our assistance in the process, other than to show love to our fellow man.  Why do I believe these things so strongly? Because if you look at the core of all faith traditions, you'll find love and peace as the basic principles.  I'm not without sin or stain, and I admit that.  But, at the end of my life, I hope that I'll be able to look back and have followed the words of the Dalai Lama "If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." What a better world we would be if we could just follow that simple mantra.   

When I die, I want no sermon at my funeral.  I want my life to be the sermon.   I just want a celebration of my life, my love. I want to have no regret, no need to have said "I'm sorry."