WANTED: TWO THINGS

Several days have passed since I composed my last blog.  The topic of today's blog caused me to take several days to really contemplate the answer. The question? "What are two things you want?"  What follows is the result of several days of deeply questioning myself, pondering for an answer.

So, what two things do I want? 

I want Peace.   I don’t long for peace just on the surface, but deep, satisfying peace.  I long for financial peace, emotional/spiritual peace and personal peace.   Now, that may sound like a lofty want or something straight out of Hollywood.  Peace like that doesn’t exist in the world, does it?   I believe it does, and I believe that all three areas where I most long for peace are so inter-connected that by making small changes in each area will have dramatic outcomes on the whole. By freeing myself from the burden of debt, my spirit should be lighter, which transcends into my personal life and interactions with others. 

I want Love.   Love must start with me.  If I’m completely honest, there are times when I am somewhat self-loathing.  Until I surrender and fully love myself with all my flaws, I certainly can’t expect anyone else to love me.  Sometimes I don’t like the man in the mirror because the reflection is not the right weight, he says and does crazy things.   But, the truth is I do love the man in the mirror, and am working daily to learn to love him even more. That man in the mirror is me.  One day, maybe in the not too distant future, I’m going to be able to give a man my heart again.   And, when I do give my heart away again, with it will be a whole new me—a me that loves myself, a me that respects myself, and a me that can stand on his own like never before.  

Here’s my confession: In recent days, I’ve started feeling a little more peace and love in my life.   I see how far I’ve come, and I have an action plan in place to go farther.   I question myself often about peace and love.  I am accepting circumstances and learning to accept those that I can’t change, and actively seeking ways to change the ones that I can.   Sometimes, the answers come to us when we are least expecting them.   Sometimes they come in the way of the voice of a friend, and sometimes they even come to us in the silence.

My next blog will actually piggy-back off this one, as I tell a story of the paths I’ve traveled to where I am today, and where I hope to be in the tomorrows that are ahead.