I have always been average. School was a struggle for me, and I’ve always regretted
that. In elementary school,
I struggled with being focused and, most of the time, just getting by. I’ve always regretted that for
whatever reason, I was not more focused academically. I am a very slow reader, and rarely read anything just for
pleasure (my exception is books by David Sedaris which are just hilarious
essays). Math and Science
were always subjects with which I struggled the most.
The really strange thing here is that I really liked
school. I was playing school
with my cousins when I was way too old to be playing school. Oddly, I wanted to be a teacher when I
grew up. I just couldn’t
seem to make the good grades in elementary school. I didn’t test well, and somehow wasn’t equipped with
good study skills.
When I got to junior high school in the 7th
grade, something changed.
For the first and only time in my life, I made the A/B Honor roll one
six-week period. I remember
my mother commenting that she thinks I was just bored to death in elementary
school, because my grades were so much better one I hit the 7th
grade. When I got to high
school, especially after I started at OHS in 10th grade was to make
the Beta Club. I busted my butt
and worked as hard as I could, but always fell just short of the “B” average
required to be in Beta Club.
I wanted more than anything to wear the gold sash with my cap and gown. When all was said and done, I graduated
high school with an 87.7777 average, which was just shy of a “B” average, since
“B” started at 88.
My parents didn’t really expect that I would go to
college. However, I went off
to college, and was, again, average.
Yet, I believe I was successful in college not because of the things I
learned academically, but because the things that I learned about myself. Would I change my study habits
now were I back in college?
Absolutely. However, when I
say that I have the advantage of looking back over 15 years later and seeing
what I would do differently.
Here’s my confession:
I’ll probably always regret that I lack the study skills that separates
the top achievers from the average-to-low achievers. People always are shocked to learn that I wasn’t an
“A” student, which always makes me laugh.
People seem to think that if you are well put together and articulate
that translates into automatic academic success. A few years ago, a thought occurred to me as I
pondered what it meant to be average and how it impacted my life. The thought was this: Most of the “A” students I knew
didn’t really have to work extremely hard for their grades—some did—but not
all. Many of them just had great
retention and were able to just crank out information. What the “A” students didn’t know
is just how hard the “C” student sometimes has to work just to achieve a
“C”. While I do wish that
I’d had a little more encouragement to make better grades, I think that being
average gives you a greater appreciation when you actually achieve success
rather than if you constantly just show up and you’re always on top. Maybe that’s a weird way of
comparing it, but truly sometimes the “average” student is really doing the
best they are equipped to do.
I am really glad you liked school because that in itself makes a big difference in success and failure. I also think your mother was right, you were probably bored in elementary school. I just really don't think bored is the correct word though. I think it is "not interested". When you are interested and want to learn, then you do. My son was this way. He HATED school though. He struggled throughout his school years. I told him from the beginning I would not demand A's or even B's. I would demand no lower than a C though because I knew he was better than that. I feel there is nothing wrong with C's that are worked for. When push came to shove though, he, like you, proved what he could do. He passed his Gateway tests (needed to graduate at that time) when he was a Freshman because he wanted to get them out of the way. I really never thought he would stay with it to graduate. I thought he would go the GED route. He did graduate though. Like your parents, I never thought he would go to college. He didn't go to college in reality. He went to Technology school and that was fine with me. He wanted to be a mechanic (I thought, ewwww, dirty and not a great profession). He was INTERESTED though. He never missed a day of class, graduated in the #1 position, and landed a great job before he actually graduated. He is happy with his life, works hard, is very successful, and to me that is all that matters. I am sorry you never felt successful in your academic studies, but look what you have done. My only concern is that you have said many times you wanted to be a teacher. I would hate for you to look back when you are 90 and feel that is still an unfulfilled desire in your life. You really need to get that straight in your life. Now, I want to say you are a wonderful writer and I feel that is where you need to be. What you write is interesting, insightful, thought provoking, and needed. Write that book you were talking about! In that way you WILL be a teacher and change lives. I am so proud every time I read something you write. I feel I had some small part in that. I also want to tell you I have always wanted to be a writer and never followed through. That is my unfulfilled desire. I started writing 4 different books and never finished any of them. I have stories going on in my head all the time. The closest I have gotten is through the poems I have written for Cole to get me through my grieving process. PLEASE do not give up on that book. From what I've read from you there is great talent there. Continue these blogs, write that book, and teach through those writings. I feel I have written an essay here. I am going to bed now, but I want to hear you say you will continue......I have so much respect for you!-JCM
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