THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN

What is the best piece of advice ever given to me?  This is another one of those “Where do I even begin?” type of topics.   But I think I’ve chosen a piece of advice that helps me keep things in perspective.  

“What other people think of you is none of your business”-Paulo Coelho

The reality of life is that not everybody is going to like you, not everyone you meet is going to be a fan.   While I wouldn’t say that I particularly have any enemies, I know there are people that for whatever reason, just simply don’t like me.   I found this out earlier this year when I received an email from someone who was explaining to me why we could no longer be friends. “Ok…” I thought.    Upon sharing the message with another friend they reminded me of the quote I’ve used before that “what other people think of you is none of your business.”   Finally, it hit home.   That small little phrase struck a chord.   I’d never blatantly had someone tell me what a supposedly horrible person I am, but I realized that the individual is entitled to their opinion of me, and it doesn’t for one second change who I am—unless I allow it to.

A few months ago I had a friend who was asking if people thought he was boring, exciting, etc.   I looked at him, along with another friend and said “What other people think of you is none of your business.”  He said “Really?”   I said “Absolutely.”   “You really believe that?” he replied.   “Yes, I do. Because at the end of the day, I know who I am better than any one else, and if I love myself, then that’s enough.  I don’t need validation from others.”   He walked away in amazement.   He had never heard that before.  

Here’s my confession:  Not everybody is going to like me, and as long as I’m happy with me, that’s all that really matters.  People can dislike me for who I am, what I stand for, what I don’t stand for, who my friends are, who my friends aren’t.   There are millions of reasons that people can have for not liking me.   But, as RuPaul says “If you don’t love yourself, how the HELL do you expect anyone else to?”  There are true words of wisdom there.   What other people think of me doesn’t matter, and by living and being my authentic self each and every day, I can rest knowing that I am being honest.   I’m not going to lie, it hurts to find out someone doesn’t like me—regardless of who they are, because I think our basic instinct as human beings is to want to be loved and accepted.   But, if you can master learning to love yourself and not seek validation from the outside, you've already won half (or maybe more) of the battle.