I have been asked by a couple of people about my
relationships. This is
actually a subject I wanted to explore. I’ve had two long-term relationships, first with
Edward from 1996-2003 and with Parker from 2003-2008. Since Parker and I parted ways, I’ve had a couple of
short-term relationships, but thus far, I’ve still not found my forever love.
Edward and I met through a mutual friend I went to
college with, with whom he went to high school. We was finishing up his Master’s Degree at the University
of Florida when we met, and when he graduated, he got his first job working
with students at The University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. I was finishing my BA in Kentucky, so
our relationship was long-distance for about the first year we were together. When I finished school in
December 1997, I began looking for jobs in Atlanta and Birmingham. It turned out that I got a job in
Birmingham, so that’s where I landed in March 1998. Our relationship was still a distance relationship, but at
least we were only separated by about an hour and a county rather than a time
zone and two states. We
moved in together in early 2001 when he left UA for a job in Birmingham. We were together until early
2003, when our lives had drifted apart and taken different directions.
Edward and I had a good relationship, and are still
friends. While we were
together, I became Catholic, and he supported me through the death of three
grandparents in a nine month span of time. We enjoyed going to amusement parks, shared
intellectual and religious discussions and were truly friends. We enjoyed spending time
together, but I believe we were both just young and were headed in different
directions in life. I loved living
in Alabama, he loathed it with almost every ounce of his being.
Parker and I developed a very quick
relationship. I still remember the
great feelings of those early days.
Within a short number of months, he asked me to marry him, and we began
planning our commitment ceremony.
I became very close to his family, and am still in touch with members of
his family. When asked why
we were together, looking back, it’s easy to see that I was needy and he needed
someone like me. Our
relationship, if I’m being completely honest, was rocky from the start, but we
did our best to trudge through anyway.
We went though with our commitment ceremony in May 2004 and in March
2007 signed our lives away on a house. By January of 2008 we had decided to
part ways.
After Parker and I parted ways, I decided it was time
to work on myself. I did enter a
brief relationship late in 2008, but it only lasted a few months, and have
dated a few people since then, and began my most recent relationship in early
2011. That relationship was
with George. I was madly in
love. Oddly enough, although
I’d been through two long-term committed relationships, the first time I ever
felt like I was truly IN love was with George. When he broke up with me, my heart shattered into a
million pieces, and I cried almost every day for the better part of a month or
so. I wouldn’t say he’s made
my gun-shy of falling in love again, but I am certainly more cautious with my
heart.
Here’s my confession: In the two years since my last relationship, I have come to
learn a lot about myself, and the culmination of all these relationships has
taught me what I really want in a relationship, and at my age, I am not willing
to settle for anything less than what I want. I’m willing to compromise a few things, but by and
large, my heart knows what it wants and we are waiting until Mr. Right comes
along.
I still believe he is out there, I believe that
there is a life full of love waiting for me. I keep the faith that it will all happen in time. Even though “gay death” is
supposed to happen around 35, I refuse to believe that I can’t find the love of
my life as I move confidently into my 40s. And hey, if I never find him, I have wonderful friends
and I am secure enough (now) in myself that I know I’m going to be ok.
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