MY FUNERAL

Some of you are going to look at this title and think “How morbid. I don’t want to read that.” Some people just aren’t comfortable with death, and I completely understand that, but please keep reading.

If you know me well, you will know that I have a fascination with the phenomenon of death.   To me, there is no greater mystery in the world than death. It is the ONLY thing that we all have in common—we will all, at some point, die, and none of us gets a second chance to do it.   While death leaves a sting and a void, death can also be beautiful transition.  My fascination with death has been part of my life as long as I can remember.   I recall visiting the local cemetery with my paternal grandfather.   There is not a more peaceful place on earth than a cemetery.   My fascination was only made stronger when I took “Death and Dying” in college.  That course was the most insightful and useful class I took during my entire college career.

It should come as no surprise because of my fascination with death that I have been planning and revamping my funeral since I was at least 13.   My ideas have changed somewhat over the years, but what you are about to read is the vision I have for my funeral. I have entrusted my wishes to my friends Lee and Jane to oversee that my wishes are followed.  

I am not a fan of funerals held in a funeral home.  To me, they seem so generic, so contrived and lacking.   With that said, my funeral is to be held in a church. I am Catholic, so I want a full Catholic Mass. I also want an open casket visitation-again some people just aren’t comfortable viewing the deceased.  I want a black suit, my signature bow tie (it better be hand tied). However, I believe that viewing the body is an important element of closure—one of the reasons we have funerals in the first place.  

What follows is the outline of music and scriptures I have chosen for my funeral service.  Being a musician—especially a Catholic church musician certainly make it difficult to choose the music I want, but here is what I have chosen.

Opening Hymn: “All Creatures of Our God And King” (ALL 7 VERSES)

Old Testament Reading: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 23 “Shepherd Me, O God”

Epistle Reading: 2 Corinthians 13:5-14

Gospel Reading: Matthew 5:1-12 (The Beatitudes)

The Homily (sermon)

Presentation Hymn: “Blest Are They”  (all verses)

The Celebration of the Eucharist

Communion Hymn: “The Supper of the Lord”

Remarks of Remembrance

Hymn of Committal/Closing Hymn: “May the Angels” (Joncas)

Specifics that I want followed: “Amazing Grace” is under no circumstances to be sung or sung—it is, by far, my least favorite hymn of all time.   Following the funeral mass, my remains are to be cremated.   When the cremains are ready, they are to be placed in a wooden urn I have already chosen, and a service of imposition of ashes is to be held at the columbarium at Elmwood Cemetery in Birmingham, Alabama.   I do not want my body returned to Tennessee under any circumstances.  Following the imposition of the ashes at the columbarium, I want my friends to gather for a celebration of life.  

Here’s my confession: The only regret I have about my funeral is that I won’t be physically there to make sure that everything is followed as directed. But, trust me—I’m DEAD serious about that “Amazing Grace” business.  Woe be to you if you are the one oversteps that request…I’ll haunt you the remainder of your days! I expect I'll have a front row seat "spiritually" at my funeral, so trust me, I will know... 

I’ve never been afraid of death, and when it comes my time to surrender to the passing from this life, I am ready.   Granted, I’m not ready to hop on the next train out of this world, but when the time comes…  

Requiem Eternum